The rough work we had to present in our informal crit was very minimal, we had our most basic sounds and our initial idea. This, along with some technical problems, meant that we had a very little to present at this point. The feedback we received was that our idea and concept was a little vague and hard to understand; not a lot of people understood exactly what we were trying to achieve. We needed to identify the flaws in our idea in order to make it clearer to our audience. Our piece at the moment was only a few raw sound files, unedited and out of order, despite this, it was still important that there was some basic idea of our intentions. We had to completely re-think how we were going to be putting across our piece to make sure that what we wanted to put across was achieved.
Suggested improvements
A few changes were suggested in order to make our piece a lot more identifiable in terms of what we were trying to achieve. It was first suggested that rather than have a verbal description throughout our piece, describing the thoughts and feelings of the subject, that we have him reading an extract from a book to help illustrate the feeling of drowning out the outside world. This would give our piece more direction, which I think was definitely required given the fact that a lot of people didn't quite understand the concept of our piece. Another suggestion given in order to improve our piece, was to incorporate and layer additional sounds which relate to the piece if text which is being read. This would further enhance the effect of drowning out the outside world and becoming engrossed in the story so much that the sounds you can imagine, are drowning out what is around you.
From this point, we plan to re-approach our project with these things in mind. Hopefully they will give our piece extra depth and understanding.
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